Sain't Christopher

Church

I don't have cable, so I never saw the documentary One Punk Under God, the story of Jay Bakker.  Luckily, my personal spiritual guide, LJR, is all over the saving of my soul and knew about his appearance today at St. Aidan's.

The tag- he's the son of Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker.

He's 30 years old and has started his own ministry: Revolution.  The concept is pretty simple- Jesus already loves you.  And, Jesus loves everybody.  So, instead of beating up yourself and others over the tenets of religion, just try to be a better person.  With an edge.  The t-shirts say "Religion Kills."

St. Aidan's is a small, very attractive neighborhood church up in Diamond Heights.  Kind of Catholic Lite.  They have rituals, but the bible is covered with tasteful folk-art patch cloth and seating surround the pulpit rather than being up front.  Jay spoke for about 20 minutes and he was engaging, funny, poignant, and going over the head of most the congregation.  Now I gotta check out the series.

Having already nourished my soul, LJR then took me out for a Birthday Lunch at Cliff House to nourish the rest of me.  We had a great time being served by the Lovely Amanda watching the fog clear out over the ocean.  And then everyone went home for a nap.

Oh, Red Wings 3 - Sharks 2

Go in Peace

World's Best Sport

I no longer care about the "hat trick".  Read the nicknames and the reason.

Jeff Cowan

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Position	Left Wing
Shoots	Left
Nickname	Bra-Man[1] C-Cup[2] Cowan the Brabarian[3] Cowboy[3] Holy Cow![4] Holy Cow-an[5] Hooter Shooter[3] Milkman[6]
Height Weight	6 ft 2 in (1.88 m) 210 lb (95 kg)
NHL Team F. Teams	Vancouver Canucks Calgary Flames Atlanta Thrashers Los Angeles Kings
Nationality	Canada
Born	September 27, 1976, Scarborough, ON, CAN
NHL Draft	Undrafted
Pro Career	1996 – present

Jeff Cowan (born September 27, 1976 in Scarborough, Ontario) is a left winger currently playing for the Vancouver Canucks in the NHL.

On March 6th, 2007, in a game against the Tampa Bay Lightning, a bra was thrown on the ice after his 2nd goal of the evening, his 2nd two-goal game and the 5th goal in three games. According to interviews on the Team 1040, the official radio station of the Canucks, this was the first time it had ever happened in an NHL hockey game. The next day, the station held a naming contest for a nickname for Cowan, and a name for this such event. The winning entries were too many and all of them are listed above, while the event name is now known as the "Brasserie Cheer". The Canucks are also the inventors of another tradition, Towel Power.

The next day, the Team 1040 hosted a contest to find a nickname for Cowan. The winning entry was Cowan the Brabarian, although many other notables are still used by fans. One of them, Milkman, is a fan favorite. When put into a line with Brendan Morrison and Matt Cooke, it would be nicknamed Mo', Milk and Cookies^[6], thanks to Morrison's and Cooke's nicknames

Wow. Technology from 3 years ago

The only reason I went to youtube for my Colbert fix was that Comedy Central's clips were a quality like those of the Zapruder footage (and only half as funny).

Finally, they've gotten it together and now I can still take a pass on subscription television.

Go in Peace

Ah, That New Car/Baby Smell

Elfini and her stalwart hubby, Chris, went off and with less than a teaspoon of fluid made one of these:

Erin Christine
Born on Friday, April 13th at 12:46pm
7 lbs 3 oz and 19 3/4"

Mama says, "Stay tuned! More baby after this brief nap."

Go in Peace

The Guy

I think we should all just accept that Hockey will be the theme for a while.  Hockey will control all metaphors, will be used in all similes, and be the basis for all puns except for those jokes so obviously better suited toward George W. Bush appointees.

Not five minutes after Vancouver put away Dallas and got itself tickets to Anaheim, I was on the phone with Mr. Ryan.  While San Jose was busy trying to find a Detroit hotel with 24 hour room service that also has a people mover stop, I was starting the jangling that will make up our conversation until one of our team starts its golf season.  I put it to Mr. Ryan, "It all comes down to one thing- is Nabokov The Guy."

True fans have love-hate relationships with their teams.  I've yelled to the screen for the boys in red to stop with all the pretty passing "AND JUST SHOOT THE DAMN PUCK!!" a couple thousand times. This is equal to the number of times Mr. Ryan has grabbed his forehead and said, "OH SHIT! WE'RE ON THE POWERPLAY!"  We are both very loyal to our teams, but we are not delusional.  I've said in '03, '04, and '06 "Osgood (or Legace) just ain't The Guy."  There were other problems, but this is the one that chills ya.  So.  Is Nabokov The Guy?

I want my team to win.  And they might.  The third and fourth lines are playing beyond belief.  Lidstrom shut down Igilna and will have the same job against Joe Thorton.  Zetterberg seems to have decided to become a two-way player, Datsyuk got 5 points, and Mike Babcock doesn't own a single plaid sports jacket.  All of this bodes well.

Mr. Ryan believes it comes down to whether the good Sharks or the bad Sharks show up. I keep expecting the line "I'm not a shark at all, I'm Dorothy Gale of Kansas."  But that's the farm team.

The Sharks took 3 out of 4 from Detroit during the season.  They can, and probably should, win this series.  They have one thing the Wings haven't had in over a decade- buzz.  It's a horrible burden, but all Detroit players know that from the owners down to the butts in the bars the only level of success is playoff success.  The playoffs are regularly referred to as "the real season."  Which is why all those President's Trophies are now raffled off at the annual Little Caesar's employee picnic.  The Sharks want this and they could take it.  The stumbling point that the papers will point out has to do with discipline- staying out of the penalty box.  But, the real question  . . . is Nabokov The Guy?

And this puts more pressure on the Sharks than on Detroit.  Hassek was The Guy for most of his career and he might still be.  The team plays as if they believe he is- which is almost as good.  Detroit didn't tank in the first round so there will be no gauntlet for them to run when they land at DTW.  This is gravy.  Gravy isn't so great an incentive these days.

The puck drops Thursday.

Go in Peace

Radio Radio

Hockey fans are the left handed, red haired, republican voting, fur wearing step children of Bay Area sports fans.  Mr. Ryan pointed out that the other day he had to go past the first page and second page to find the article reporting the Sharks clinching thier first series victory over Nashville. 

It's always been this way.  Four or five years ago we were at a local "sports bar" watching a conference playoff game and our TV was turned to an A's game in the middle of the 2nd period.  8 screens, 12 mid-day drunks and two hockey fans spending for top shelf whiskey (and a dark Irish beer that was the fad then, don't think you can still find it)- who gets screwed for an early season baseball game?

Rather than be the lone gunman watching in the corner of a bar, I've gotten used to NHL.com's radio option.   They stream both home team feeds so I still get my local flavor and hometown games.  Tonight I was following the Dallas Stars playing the Vancouver National Slurs   Please note the difference between to the two broadcasts.  First, from hockey obsessed Canada:

"Both those defensemen are not just fighting for every inch along the boards, they're starting the battle beneath the circles just to get a better jump for when the battle gets to the boards.

And this would be the genius in Dallas:

"Oh my God!  Did you see that???"

I had to check and make sure that they weren't just broadcasting the TV feed.

Anyways, Dallas lost it and now in the re-seeding Detroit gets to play the Sharks.  Mr. Ryan and I will be openly advesarial for the next two weeks, after which he will spend a lot of time telling me what great tickets he's been getting for Giants games.

Go in Peace

Two Cents

My Birthday, my opinions, no comments-

• The thing that bothered me most about the Don Imus blowup was the imposing, almost exploitative repeating of the quote by news/content providers.  Only NPR and PBS had the class to, after the first day's reportage, to refer to the issue without prurient suggestivity of a big boobed baby sitter in a bad '80s teen flick.
• Big headline about Sen. Reid and the President disagreeing on whether Iraq is another Vietnam.  Of course it's not, George had a plan to get out of Vietnam.
• I absolutely hate the developing use of the word "orientate" without any Kingfish like irony.  The word is "oriented". 
• Job security used to mean belonging to a union, now it means being an unrepentant presidential appointment.  Just wait until the Japanese start importing subordinates.
• Those wacky Brits!  They are opening two theme parks one a Dickensian London setting and the other is a sexual playground.  Sorry, I don't stand in line for either gruel or sodomy.
• Oklahoma (or a state very much like it, one of those squarish states with vowels at the ends) just named the watermelon its state vegetable.  Their vote counts every bit as much as yours.
• Hilary Clinton raised a record $26mil last quarter.  Don't you realize that just encourages her?
• David Mamet will be directing some Ford commercials.  Yep, you want to turn around a high volume operation, go to the guy with the small, idiosyncratic following.  Don't those people already own Volvo's?
• While the Florida politicians are ignoring the fact that they don't have a state vegetable, time is being wasted considering a pardon for Jim Morrison's alleged exposing of himself 30 years ago.  They'll never catch up to the Oklahomists that way.
• So busted.  MUNI has found out that a good number of us never have to pay to ride the cable car.  I've watched some of the gripmen and brakemen over the years and there's a really good reason for this- they only charge the tourists, as it should be.  No local is paying $5 when there are plenty of buses or a cab might be as cheap.
• Just checked, Paul Wolfowitz, Alberto Gonzales, and Dick Cheney- none of them have resigned yet.
• Okay, back to the funny.  I loved this Get Fuzzy strip last week
  

• Nope, no resignations yet.
• All the movie news you need in one paragraph: The next Star Trek is about a young Kirk.  The last Pirate of the Caribbean flick will be almost 3 Hours.  They're remaking Clash of the Titans, Logan's Run and Barbarella. Johnathon Rhys-Davies (Sallah) won't be in Indiana Jones IV: The End of Ideas. 
• Seems as though Bush also lost the "War on Sex."  One billion dollars later and, surprise, teenagers are still having awkward puppy sex. I'll take a pass on the easy "there'll be no early withdrawal" jokes.
• The large scientist conspiracy to ruin all our fun is now saying that all the bees are dying because of cell-phone radiation.  This is a huge issue for the agri-business, as they count on bees for pollination and in California we are now importing them.  Of course, the cell phone stuff is kaa-kaa, The Bees have moved out of the state because the Republicans up in Sacramento have stalled legislation allowing them to set up domestic partnerships with The Birds.

Okay, all out of my system now.  Next will be photos of children and babies.

Go in Peace

Round Bar Pickle Soup

Thought I'd posted it two years ago.  When I was very young, we'd go to the Round Bar on Chene for polish food.  It was always exciting because George Perriot ate there and I'd hoped we'd see him.

8 cups chicken stock (canned is fine)
3 medium carrots grated
3 dill pickles grated
2 stalks celery, finely sliced
2 tablespoons flour plus 1/4 cup pickle juice
1 cup diced potatoes
5 tablespoons sour cream
1 egg

1.  Bring chicken stock to a boil.
2.  Add potatoes, cook for 5 minutes
3.  Turn down to a simmer, add vegetables.
4.  Add flour pickle juice mix. Cook for 5 minutes.
5.  Turn to lowest heat.
6.  Mix egg with sour cream, add to soup.  Do not let soup boil again.
7.  Adjust flavor with salt, pepper, and pickle juice.

This is a very fast soup, start to finish, half an hour.

Go in Peace

Hippity Hop

I found a real barber.

As real as you can find nowadays.  Doubt if there's any place that still has the girlie mags on the coffee table. 

Thought I'd settled this whole hair cutting thing two months ago when I met JJ, a lovely young girl who gave a decent scissor cut for $10.  But she folded up shop and went back to SuperCuts two weeks ago, just when I was due for a trim.  Since then I've been trying to come up with a plan.  Mostly it looked like I was back to shaving my own head.

Sometime during the week I flashed on the barber shop near KC's place out in Fremont.  I'd peeked in the last time I walked past- it looked like a good solid barber shop.  And by that, I mean it was decorated, poorly, when it first opened twenty years ago and not since.

The guy's name is Dave.  He obeys the three rules of barbershop:

1. No appointments.  First come first serve.
2. Three newspapers so everyone can have a sports section while waiting.
3. He will not ask you if you want a shampoo first.

As I flipped thru the Sporting Green I caught a whiff of my youth.  RK men's hairspray.  I think every barber I went to as a kid had that stuff- haven't seen it in years.  In fact, I just searched the internet for the stuff and can't find it.  Maybe he's still running out stock from the late '70s. He also had, but was not using, one of those ultra-violet sterilizers that I always thought were so cool.

He small talked like a pro, equally comfortable asking the 17 year old about his piercing as asking me about cooking.  Dave's got one tick to his personality that thru me for a curve, but one I can live with

Me:  So, do you do the hot lather shave around the ears and neck?
Dave:  Sure do.
Me:  Well, God bless ya.
Dave:  He does, every day.

Okay, this explains the shortage of nudie magazines.  Luke told me later that it's best to avoid politics when talking to Dave.  But hell, I just found a guy who, without asking, trimmed my ears and nose then did a hot lather razor trim. . .  to finally find a decent haircut I think I can manage 20 minutes polite conversation.

Oh, and Dave only charges $9.

Go in Peace

Hockey Talk

Watching the game with a co-worker in the cafeteria at work:

Me:  Uh, no, he said "5-hole"
Co:  Oh.

Go in Peace