Sain't Christopher

Demotivation

Go in Peace

Our Own Damn Fault

Last week was non-stop media saturation as we acknolwedged the 100th anniversary of the Earthquake and fire.  Two authors of recent books were interviewed on NPR and during the Q&A one was asked what was the most surprising thing he learned in researching his book.  Here's what he came up with.

• A year before the earthquake an evangelical minister in Nebraska started having people fall during his sermon and start speaking in foreign tongues.
• A few months before the earthquake this preacher settled into Los Angeles.
• Three days before the earthquake the preacher declared that in the next week God would demonstrate his displeasure.
• The Sunday after the earthquake destroyed America's Sodom this preacher had 10,000 new faithful show up show up.
• From this ministy the current Pentacostal ministries of Jimmy Swaggart, Jim Baker, and many others spread their word and influence.
• Today we see how the religious right has taken control of our government and the fault* is entirely San Francisco's.

*Sad, but there can't be much in the way of seismic humor.

Go in Peace

Born and Raised in South Detroit

I'm going there. Oh, yes. I am.  That place they say don't go  . . .I am going, going wearing a pair of Nike Allcourts (red stripe), boot cut 501's, a Concert Jersey with a space age bug on it with the legend ESC4P3.

If art is judged by the successful effect it creates on the experiencer, we are talking about a legendary piece of work.

I'm not going to go on further.  Just read this article that ran in the Chron this week and be one of us.  Later, we'll go find some guys in Styx T's and kick some A. 

Keep on Believing (Hold on to that feeling)

Chow

Here's what's on the menu tonight

Soup de Poisson with Scallop Quenelle and Orange Gremolata
A traditional French soup that was usually made over the whole day and involves cooking the whole fish.  Truly an elegant sort of comfort food.

Duck Roulade on Braised Green Lentils, Sherry Sauce, Sauteed Haricots Verts.
I love this sort of food.  A long pain in the ass to make but it shows so welll.  Also, I appreciate that the whole duck ('cepting the head and feet, y'all) is used in the preparations.

Reblochon with Honeycomb and Walnut Bread
This one of my all time fav food items.  A brilliant cheese with a simple compliment and some rockin' bread. 

Strawberry-Rhubarb Crisp with Housemade Vanilla Ice Cream.
A simple spring dessert.  Spring started 5 weeks ago and now I'm just starting to see early produce.  It's crushing to read the reports and know that the Cherry crop is screwed and probably Apricots too.  Late summer stone fruit might make it but the berries are struggling and probably are aquaphobic at this point.  All I ask this year: Tomatoes.  Please, just give us tomatoes.

Go in Peace

Romance.com

Last Friday night KC, Luke, the little ones and I gathered around the Monitor to watch the wedding of Mr. and Mrs. Bridget.  The groom was dapper, the bride was stunning, and Elvis plugged his nightly show 2/3s way through the ceremony.

Right up until that moment I was totally on board with the whole webcast, parents only wedding. 

And then it hit me- this was wrong.  David Lee Roth radio host wrong.

Weddings are about the happy couple, sure.  But it's also about bitter single friends, too.  A cliche, sure, but it's one night we stand a good chance of having esteem bolstering sex. For us, weddings are kind of like those exhibition games baseball teams do in Japan-  whatever happens doesn't really count.  So, we get dressed up nice.  We wish our nuptualized friends the best of luck. Then we hit the open bar.  It's not guaranteed, but this is one of the best no penalty zones available now that we are too old mature for regular one-nighters.

Go in Peace

Manners

I had this thought in a dream and it cracked me up so much I awoke (it was the first time I'd ever heard it, after all).

Suppose you're a prisoner in some third world country and Amnesty International starts a letter campaign for your release.  70,000 letters later you're released and the Amnesty guys show up on your doorstep.  You open the door and in their arms they've got several large packages from Office Depot.  "We know you've only just got out a few days ago and we share in the joy your new found freedom.  It's not that we want to take time away from getting to know your family again, but we find it really works better for everyone involved if you start the thank-you notes right away.  To make it easier for you, we printed all the mailing labels for you.  Also, with your donation you'll get these nice return labels with your address on them."

Go in Peace 

Know Thyself

Blanche (the artist formerly known as Dawnami) and I were talking about her possible blog.  She was taking the I-don't-have-anything-to-say argument.  I kept telling her this never stopped me (or anyone else).  A few minutes later we'd moved on to discussing how long we'd known each other.  She has no recollection of our first meeting.

Me:  You came over to my place.  You had short black hair and were wearing your Greek wrestling shoes.  And (in an ominous tone) you were with Mike G. 
Blanche:  Oh, gawd.  Although he had a great butt
Me:  Hey, at least your taste in men has improved in 20 years.
Blanche:  I dunno, Mr. Blanch has a really great butt, too.
Me:  Okay, although I think you fell for all the other improvements too.
Blanche: True. At this point it's just a gravy butt?
Me:  (pause) What the hell image were you going for?
Blanche:  I hadn't thought that one through.

And what have we learned from this?  One, simple amusing exchanges from everyday life can make up a good part of your blog fodder.  Two, editing is key.  If you'd been writing about this I'm sure "gravy butt" would not go on to become your new husband's nick name.  Hi, Blanche.  How's the kid?  And how's Gravy Butt doing?

Go in Peace

The Ghost of Birthdays Past

Since I'd rather not reflect on this birthday's comedy of errors, physical injuries, and work related issues . . . I chose to focus on my happiest memories of birthdays past.

The two bowling tournaments were great.  The three times at Paycheck's where I paid for all the beer friends and freeloaders could drink were great as well (Mr. Bierman gave me a pineapple, one of my all time fav gifts).  The night I took over the karaoke bar was great and last year's day trip with LJR was epic.  My first B-day out here in SF was touching- KC put a candle in a twinkie.

But, my happiest memories are of the times The Mom took me out of school for lunch at Burger King.

First off, fast food was a real treat back in the day and not the regular part of life that today's kids experience.  Second, you got a crown from Burger King.  It was so cool to go to Burger King while all your classmates had to stay in the gym/cafeteria eating their brown bagged sandwiches and drinking lukewarm milk.

We stopped this once The Mom went back to work at Ford's.  Instead there were night-time trips to Farrell's or other places and instead of it just being me and The Mom we were joined by my sister and friends.  These were great, too.  But, if a birthday is your special day then The Mom succeeded big-time because those lunches made me feel incredibly special and happy.

Thanks, Mom.

Go in Peace

Corrected Answer: Two out of Three

Here's Vincent making no bones about his preference for a nice spicy Chateauneuf de Pape (Mis Lis, notice the sippy cup is already in use).

Go in Peace

Answer: One out of Two

Question: How often do alcoholic drinks appear in photos of me babysitting?

Go in Peace