Not In Any Parenting Book

1. After consulting with experienced mothers, waitresses, and even mothers who are/were waitresses I can now tell you with authority that the correct amount to tip the unfortunate server stuck with a table of table vomit is 100% or $20.  Bonus points for later writing a letter to the restaurant manager commending the outstanding service.
2. When trying to comfort a child post-vomit try this: "Sweetheart, you know the best thing about getting sick?  You get to watch TV allllll day!"
3. Give the kid a mega-slurpee sized cup to hold on to while watching television for recurrences.
4. Hiccups are like the warning beeps you get when your cellphone is dying. Do not ignore them.
5. Vernors over ice: magic

Eight hours after the whole thing started, I'm in RockyCar waving goodbye to an improved Zoe and her brother.

Zoe:  Rocky, thank you for staying with me until I feel better.
Vincent:  Rocky, thank you for letting me watch TV

Go in Peace

Comments

[LJR]

Congratulations, my Brother...you have figured it out, and cracked the mysteries of parenting in the trenches. As ever, I trust my Boonie in your care, with my life. You are the best Uncle Rocky, a.k.a Chrisskrocke, on the Planet. We love and dig you, forever.

[elfini (Dawn)]

Even if I agreed with the loverly LJR - I would never admit it in a public forum.

[Angela]

You caught on to #4 much quicker than I ever did! :)
How have you been??