- After consulting with experienced mothers, waitresses, and even mothers who are/were waitresses I can now tell you with authority that the correct amount to tip the unfortunate server stuck with a table of table vomit is 100% or $20. Bonus points for later writing a letter to the restaurant manager commending the outstanding service.
- When trying to comfort a child post-vomit try this: "Sweetheart, you know the best thing about getting sick? You get to watch TV allllll day!"
- Give the kid a mega-slurpee sized cup to hold on to while watching television for recurrences.
- Hiccups are like the warning beeps you get when your cellphone is dying. Do not ignore them.
- Vernors over ice: magic
Eight hours after the whole thing started, I'm in RockyCar waving goodbye to an improved Zoe and her brother.
Zoe: Rocky, thank you for staying with me until I feel better.
Vincent: Rocky, thank you for letting me watch TV
Go in Peace